So Thanksgiving is over. How did you do in your attempts to keep some level of eating healthfully? Like many of you, I spent time with family and loved-ones during the holiday. This year, I noticed a dynamic around food that is detrimental to my healthy weight goals. It’s the well-intentioned celebrating around food, that can often turn into a real ‘food fest’!
For me and my family, we made a few pies. So it was a big piece of pie and a large scoop of ice cream once or twice a day until it was gone. Oh, and in between there was the Ben & Jerry’s to go along with the movie watching. All great fun, but maybe a sliver of pie and a small scoop of ice cream during the holidays would be a good alternative. Trouble is, anyone who disrupts the holiday fun can become a target for negative comments.
Then I ran into this article by Isabel De Los Rios, author of the bestselling, Diet Solution Program. She has some great insights around this topic, so I decided to share it here. Please note that it’s not my intention to blame family for your weight – rather this info may help you to see how relationships can help us to stay stuck, and how we can turn this dynamic around to support our health and weight goals.
So here’s what Isabel says.
“Anyone who knows me, knows how incredibly attached I am to my wonderful family…my husband, my parents, my sister, my in laws and many of my extended family members have been a great source of support for me through many of life’s ups and downs.
But there are still those that I call the “nay sayers” or (dare I call them) TROLLS. I know, I know. That may sound a bit harsh, but, to me, a troll is anyone who is trying to keep you down when all you’re trying to do is raise yourself up.
Here’s what I mean.
Many people, especially during the holiday season, experience a lot of negativity and back talk from their family and friends for trying to maintain a healthy eating plan and exercise routine during the holiday parties and celebrations.
You know the people I’m talking about. Those that say…
“Oh, you only live once, stop depriving yourself”.
“You know you can just start losing weight on January 1st, right?”
“You know your diet is not going to work anyway, so you might as well just give up now.”
As much as I would like to tell these people to take their comments where the sun don’t shine, I won’t because more negativity is not going to get me anywhere and is not going to resolve the issue at hand.
When you’re making such positive and wonderful changes to your health, you need all the support you can get! And letting any of these comments bother you is not helping you reach your weight loss and health goals.
The first thing to do is realize that these people are only saying these things because they are really upset with themselves for not making those positive changes themselves. Notice that many of the people who may be making these remarks really need to get their own eating and exercising under control. Psychiatrists have even written about the psychology of compliments vs. insults and those people who feel good about themselves are more likely to compliment others while those who are very insecure and don’t feel good about themselves are more likely to insult or put others down.
I don’t mean to talk badly about your dear Aunt Sally, but chances are Aunt Sally has her own excess pounds to lose and she may be a bit disappointed in herself that she is not doing quite as well as you are. But this isn’t an excuse to insult good old Aunt Sally back. She may need to hear some encouraging words from you and may appreciate some help.
So what is the best way to approach this family situations around food?
1. Keep a positive attitude. I know this is so hard, especially when you’re the focal point of teasing and negative comments, but it will actually make them realize how serious you are about your new healthy lifestyle if you do not show offense to their remarks. Keep your head held high and chuckle at their remarks. You may even want to join in the fun and make some of your own jokes…that’ll really throw them off guard!
2. In the moment, remember why you decided to start this healthy journey in the first place…and I mean REALLY remember. “I want to be able to keep up with my children, I want to be a good influence to my family, I want to get my health under control, I just want to look plain HOT!”. Whatever your good reason is, keep it in the forefront of your mind or write it down on an index card and keep with you. Don’t let anybody’s negativity steer you away from the important reasons you decided to take care of your health in the first place.
3. Find a support network of people that will be your cheerleaders every step of the way. For me, that support team is at home and on our Facebook Fan Page. It is still so amazing to me that many of the people on that page I have never met before but have now become like family to me. It is so wonderful to see so many friendships emerge, everyone helping everyone and all of the extremely motivating remarks and comments that are shared daily. I highly recommend you come and join in the fun on our DSP fan page.
And last but definitely not least, remember how absolutely incredible you are. I know, I’m getting cheesy on you know, but I’m serious. You deserve the very best in life and all that life has to offer. We all know that life can be better enjoyed and better lived when we feel good in our skin and we are taking good care of our bodies. So don’t forget that you are incredible and capable of anything you want to achieve! Weight loss and health are completely possible for you and we’re here to support you every step of the way!”
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Isabel’s ideas really rang true for me, as I know anytime I get criticized for my healthy eating, it is coming from someone who is struggling with their weight or their health. It never comes from my slender sister, who is happy with her eating. Just remember who your critics are, and do your best to stay with your goals, while treating them firmly but kindly.
Here are a few final thoughts. In the end you may serve as an inspiration for these loved ones, so stay on track and be good to yourself! You don’t need to be perfect with your eating, and certainly you never want to appear critical or take a condescending tone to others.
Christmas is around the corner, so this approach could help you at least maintain your weight through the holidays, if not lose weight. Some people do lose weight at Christmas, but in any event, you’ll be ready to take on the New Year with more confidence in your commitment to a healthy lifestyle, and your interactions with loved ones around this sometimes sensitive topic.
